Monday, March 26, 2012

Kids These Days.

I swear that kids these days are getting dumber by the minute. Maybe it is the heavy use of all things electronic to do almost everything that weakens the use of common sense. I don't know the cause, but I see acts of stupidity on their part every day. I was never so stupid! (insert sarcastic face here)

Just this Saturday I was driving down my quiet residential street at 8:10pm when I saw three cars parked in the street. Mind you all of my neighbors have large driveways and no one parks on the street. I quickly saw what was up when all of the car doors slammed and I saw HS boys skimpering about in white tshirts and reflective running shoes -- They were toilet-papering my neighbors house (or TPing as it was called in my day). I didn't call my neighbor because I don't know them. If I did, I would have called them. Not because these boys were wrong for stringing rolls of toilet paper all over my neighbor's property but because these boys were doing it all wrong and needed to learn a lesson.

Get it together boys!!!

If you are going to go TPing, do it right. Here are some tips for next time from a seasoned pro (I was never caught).
1. Wear black. Common sense? I think so.
2. Go later at night. It was just daylight saving time so it stays lighter later over here. The sun just went down and it is barely dark.
3. Avoid reflective clothing. See #1.
4. Take cover. Do not stand in the middle of the street when a car comes. Hide you idiot!
5. Take a limited number of cars to avoid neighborhood watch. Many cars looks suspicious.
6. Weekdays are better than weekends. Did you really not think that people would be out and about, driving past you on a Saturday night?

Youth of America - I expect more next time.


  1. Haha how funny! Seriously, you would think these kids would get with the program, but they're too busy with their Twitter and Facebook to learn the fine art of the TP. Come on boys.

    First of all, I was a MASTER TP'er in high school, and NO one goes that early!

    Also, don't limit yourself to TP... Once, we bought a ton of packets of yeast, filled up a cooler with water and dumped them all in. We left the cooler in the hot sun for a couple of days, and then took it to a friend of our's porch. We left the blob to grow overnight, and he woke up the next morning to a giant cloud of dough that took more than a few people to move!

    Semi sticky spaghetti is also fun to stick to driveways. It looks like a snake farm!

    I just found your blog and will be following along! Hilarious!

  2. Thanks for the tip with the yeast - I will keep that one in mind. After all, heaven knows I am not above a good prank :)

  3. haha, great post! Love it

  4. You must live near me! I have kids trying to TP wearing neon in my neighborhood. Really neon?